Sunday Stealing – I did all 99 questions because…well, I don’t have a reason.

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
There is not a book within arms reach. I’m not getting off my ass.

4) What do you think about most?
Bacon…and shoes.

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?
It was an advertisement from Walgreen’s.

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
Wouldn’t you like to know?

7) What’s your strangest talent?
I play a pretty mean air triangle.

Women…. (finish the sentence); Men…. (finish the sentence)
are blah….are DOUBLE blah.

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
I doubt it.

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
When I went on tour with my air band.

11) Do you have any strange phobias?
Lint. Dryer lint, pocket lint, belly button lint. *shudder*

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
I’ve had a strangers fingers up my nose (when I got my nose pierced).

13) What’s your religion?
Shoes

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
Getting into my car.

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
I want to be a professional photobomber.

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
The Doors

17) What was the last lie you told?
I’m having deja vu.

18) Do you believe in karma?
Yep…bitch is gonna get you.

19) What does your URL mean?
Ugly Retro Llamas

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
Ugly retro llamas. Shoes.

21) Who is your celebrity crush?
Bradley Cooper

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
In my bathtub.

23) How do you vent your anger?
I buy shoes.

24) Do you have a collection of anything?
Shot glasses. And shoes.

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
Ewww! Neither.

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
Absolutely.

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
Any repetitive sound that Ethan feels it necessary to annoy the shit out of me with. Quiet.

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?
What if I fall off of my shoes?

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
Yes and yes.

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
My cell phone. My work pager. Pretty fucking exciting, huh?

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?
Toast. Oh, how I wish it were bacon.

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
Holdenville, Oklahoma

33) Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
Why?

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
Kid Rock

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?
Shoes

36) Define: Art.
Shoes

37) Do you believe in luck?
I guess so…

38) Patriots or Giants? Or, who gives a rat’s ass?
Men fighting over a ball = REALLY FUCKING STUPID

39) Will you watch the game? If yes, with who?
I watched the half time show…with Dennis.

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
Yes. And not intentionally.

41) What was the last book you read?
I think it was RuPaul’s book. I don’t remember though.

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?
Why would I?

43) Do you have any nicknames?
“Mom”

44) What was the last movie you saw?
I watched Paranormal Activity 3 last night. Talk about a waste of $1, thank you Redbox.

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
I injured my back doing Wii Fit boxing. I wish I were lying.

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?
Why the fuck would I do this? Really?

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?
Shoes

48) What’s your sexual orientation?
Sex? What is that?

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?
I’m sure I have and it was probably true.

50) Do you believe in magic?
Thanks, now I’m going to have that fucking song in my head all day.

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
Just one person. They know who they are.

52) What is your astrological sign?
I was born on June 21. So you tell me.

53) Do you save money for anything? What?
Shoes

54) What’s the last thing you purchased?
Nail polish

55) Have you ever had a relationship that you realized was lust not love?
If it’s only lust then it’s not a relationship is it?

56) In a relationship?
Yes…with shoes. We’re very committed.

57) How many relationships have you had?
I’m on marriage #2. We will leave it at that.

58) What do you want to tell us about your day?
This day? I’ve been awake for an hour…not much to tell.

59) Where were you yesterday?
I had a bonding moment (all day) with my couch.

60) Is there anything interesting within 10 feet of you?
Nope

61) Are you wearing socks right now?
You’re not one of those creepy foot fetish people are you?

62) What’s your favorite animal?
Shoes

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
To get someone like me? Huh?

64) Where is your best friend?
She’s likely at home. But I honestly don’t know, I don’t keep tabs on her every minute of the day.

65) How did you end your last relationship end?
D-I-V-O-R-C-E

66) What is your heritage?
Drag Queen

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
Pinning shoes on Pinterest.

68) What’s new?
I have two new pairs of shoes.

69) What is the key to seduction?
Shoes

70) What was the weirdest thing that happened to you this week??
I carried a pair of shoes around the store while I shopped and then *gasp* I changed my mind and didn’t buy them.

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
Um, I’d save the dog. My boss is probably an asshole anyway. But I’d love to see the look on his face when I tell him the reason why I’m late.

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
I’d probably freak the fuck out, tell everyone I know and worry myself to the point of a heart attack or stroke and die an early (ier) death.

73) You can only have one of these things: trust or love.
Shoes

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
Santa Monica by Everclear

75) Who has your cell phone number (other than family)?
The BFF and all my drag queen friends.

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
Buy me shoes. I will love you forever.

77) How did/could someone win your heart?
Take me shoe shopping.

78) In your world, what brings on more creativity?
Meh

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
See #65

80) Why did you break up with your last ex?
They’re either an asshole, an idiot or and idiotic asshole. Isn’t that the reason why you break up with anyone?

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
I’m taking my shoes with me, so all you bitches just back the fuck off.

82) What is your favorite word?
Right now I like “suckopotamus”. I can thank the BFF for that one.

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: delusional.
A person comes to mind, but I won’t name names.

84) What is a saying you use a lot?
I know, right?

85) Are you watching Idol this season? If yes, how do you like it?
Not really. As much as I like Steven Tyler, he kind of creeps me out.

86) Were you surprised that House got canceled?
I never watched that show so I really don’t give a fuck.

87) What is your current desktop picture?
Why do you even care?

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
LOL omg…I can’t name names. The visual of this is entirely too satisfying.

89) What would be a question where you’d not tell the truth?
Why would I tell you this?

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by WEEPING ANGELS. The Weeping Angles aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What would you do?
I’d rather they be SWEEPING angels. My house could use a thorough douching.

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
I wold never accidentally eat a vegetable. If it were radioactive bacon I could see it happening.

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
I’d go back and buy those shoes I carried around the store.

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
When my kids went and lived with their dad for two months.

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. (let’s say that you are both single and available) Who might it be?
Kid Rock. No “might” about it.

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Vegas. It’s an hour flight from here. I’m not a patient person.

96) Do you have any relatives or friends in jail?
Not currently.

97) Who’s winning the U.S. Republican presidential nomination? Why?
What?

98) Who’s winning the next U.S. Presidential election?
Roseanne Barr

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
Can I borrow a dollar?